Just for fun!
If you are an old-timer you may remember our Rare Coin
Review, which I edited for many years in the late 20th century into
the present one. I often included “fillers,” such as these from a 1984 issue:
Readers and friends often sent so many things in that I could
only use a few of them. This was from my friend, Cheri Kaye Lemons, an American
Airlines executive:
Travel Guide Explanations
Standard: Substandard
Deluxe: Standard
Superior: Free shower cap
Quaint: Run down
Aristocratic: Hasn’t been renovated
Off the Beaten Path: Few want to come here
Old-World Charm: No bath
Tropical: Rains a lot
Motorcoach: Bus
Deluxe Motorcoach: Bus with clean windows
Options Galore: Nothing included
Explore on your own: Pay for it yourself
Playground of the Stars: George Snodgrass spent a night here in
1948
Airy: No air conditioning
Brisk: Freezing
Harvey Roehl, whose Vestal Press published some of my books,
sent these definitions from comedian Fred Allen and others:
Dictionary Definitions
Alibiography: Life story of a guy who didn’t make good
Arcticulation: The Eskimo language as it should be spoken
Bothtub: Bathtub for twins
Concubeen: An old concubine
Debutantrum: A society girl in a fit
Maltimillionaire: A wealthy brewer
Pillfer: To steal from a doctor
Wrenovation: Improving a bird house for a new occupant
And from the Bowers and Merena Galleries staff:
Numismatic Definitions
Medium Date: A night out with a fortune teller (borrowed from
Dick Johnson)
Plain Edge: Where the prairie meets the Mississippi River such
as in eastern Missouri
Denver Mint: Candy sold in a Rocky Mountain city
Buffalo nickel: A rare 1926-S found in change in Upstate New
York
Mint State: Pennsylvania, New York, Colorado, or California
About Uncirculated: A story concerning a high grade
Overdate: To go out with too many romantic attractions
Brilliant Proof: A decisive presentation by an attorney in a
court trial
Investment Grade: Score of a test given to applicants seeking to
work at Merrill Lynch
Below Wholesale: No dealers want to buy my stuff, so I offer it
to you
Another issue featured two pages on humor from 19th century
almanacs, much of which remains true over a century later. A few samples, from
Ayer’s, an issuer of encased postage stamps:
Carpets are purchased by the yard but worn by the foot. Ayer’s
Almanac, 1870
It’s easy to love your neighbor as yourself if your neighbor
happens to be a pretty girl. Ayer’s Almanac, 1870
A liar is tolerated when he tells what we wish to believe. Ayer’s
Almanac, 1870
A bank note is better than hard money, because if you fold it
you find it in-creases. Ayer’s Almanac, 1871
Imitation is the homage stupidity pays to genius. Ayer’s
Almanac, 1863
The grand essentials of happiness in this life are: something to
do, something to hope for, and something to love. Ayer’s Almanac, 1863
“George, did you ever see the Catskill
Mountains?” “No sir, but I have seen them kill mice.” Ayer’s
Almanac, 1870
